Red Thread

"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle but will never break." ~ Ancient Chinese Beli

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Peter Pan

The magical tale of Peter Pan is an irresistible story of incredible adventure, delightful characters and endearing, heartfelt moments.  This story is appreciated by so many because in a way we would all like to hold on to the simplicity of life as a child.

The drama group at Stamford American International School did it again.  Such a creative group of children who gave up their after school free time and Saturdays to make sure the show was a success.  And that it was!

Elle was once again fortunate to have the opportunity to be a part of the wonderful cast.  Grade 4 - Grade 9 have the lead roles and KG2 - Grade 3 have the singing and dancing roles.  

One of the proud Indians back stage

Since Switzerland and the US are a bit far to come to see the show, I have tried to capture a bit of Ella on stage via video - she is on the end of the second row with a pink feather.

One of the parents at school captured the finale perfectly so you can truly enjoy a scene from Neverland!!
Elle is the Indian on the end of the second row again.


Monday, May 13, 2013

Four Simple Words...

I finally heard what I have been waiting for.
I am still in shock.
I have been waiting for the moment for 2.5 years.
It finally came on Mother's Day of all days.
Perhaps it was because there was so much talk of telling your Mommy you love her at school.
Perhaps she overheard her big sister tell me.
Perhaps she has felt it for a long time but the time was not right yet.
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.
There are so many things that I wonder about with Lex.
So many unknowns of her past and so many unknowns of what she is thinking.
It is soooo different with Elle because she tells me EVERYTHING.
Literally every thought that passes through her mind comes out at all times of the day.
This presents its own challenges but I do ALWAYS know what she is thinking.
With Lex we became so used to not knowing.
We became so used to the blank stare that still often is a big part of her day.
There are ups and downs and at times she can be a chatter box but often it is not about feelings, emotions or what she is thinking.  She talks A LOT about what she observes in the world around her.  She can tell you every single details of what someone was wearing and even what they said weeks if not months before.  She can walk into a room and notice immediately if something is different.  It might be a pillow out of place or a new book on a shelf....she will notice it and she will comment on it. She remembers all details because she has been hyper-aware for so long.
I do not even know if "hyper-aware" exists as a word.  But it is so real for Lex.  It is what she used for so long...and still help her feel safe.  It is survival for her.
But anyway...back to the four simple words.
Mother's Day morning was hard for Lex just as birthdays and holidays are.
I don't think it has anything to do with it being a special celebration but more because the day strays from the typical standard routine that she follows day in and day out.
Structure and routine are SO important to her.  It helps her predict and know what to expect next.
I muddled through the morning and tried not to take it personally (just as I tried not to take it personally on the Mother's Day Tea at school when she would not sit on my lap or hug and kiss me as the other kids did to their Moms).  I just reminded myself that it was just another day and it would get better.
Mid afternoon, out of no where, Lex walked up to me and put her arms around my legs and said 4 simple words. 

"I love you Mommy".

I looked down at her as she was looking up at me and she smiled.
I have known that Lex loves me.  I no longer question how she cares for me. I can see it in her eyes on some days and feel it as we go off to sleep at night.  She no longer clings to me for dear life but gently holds my hand and will give me soft kisses on my cheek.
She just has not been ready to say it or has not felt that there was a need.
But after hearing her say those four simple words and seeing the look in her gorgeous chestnut brown eyes, I know that she meant those words....she feels the love.....she has surpassed the level of attachment that she has been stuck on.....she is trusting on a totally new level...she is coming full circle.


Sunday, May 12, 2013

Happy Mother's Day

Today is a day like no other.  I sit in awe of the fact that I am so privileged and honored to be the Mother of two amazing...yet exhausting... girls.  On this day I also reflect on how thankful I am to call my beautiful Mother my Mom and to know that my Mother-in-law Rita is shining down on me.  For both I am so very grateful.  I also fondly think of the woman who gave birth to sweet Lulu... her Tummy Mama as we refer to her.  With out "Tummy Mama" we would not be complete as a family.

To Mothers everywhere...I salute you.  There is no greater job....there is no greater challenge....there is no greater joy.